*read the whole thing with a French accent

Hello. My name is Igor Étienne. I am the director of films like “Glory Of Defeat”, “Death In Gloves” and more. I am here to teach you how to write.

And I shall teach you by example. By showing you my wicked mind at work. First, you have to be prepared to kill God and your father and your mother.

Once you’ve done that, think of a main character, a situation and an antagonist. Watch. This is the story of Jean Michaud, an accountant. A famous rock star accountant.
– Oh my god! That’s Jean Michaud! The greatest accountant in the world!

One day Jean Michaud couldn’t remember where he had parked his car, and, he was going to be late for one of his live accounting rock shows.
– But I’m sure I left it here on this row…

That’s when his dog was run over by his fucking girlfriend. His beautiful, loyal, dedicated dog… Oh… How Jean Michaud cried.
– I spit on your dead dog. Your tears are the beats of my heart.
– Noooo!

Oh, hateful God!
I miss my sweet dog so much!